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Tamriel Data:A Noble's Best Tricks

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A Noble's Best Tricks
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A Noble's Best Tricks
by Sir Dorthan Moros
A nobleman gives some easy advice for self-improvement

The first trick all nobles must know is to go to bed early. You could stay up late, but the haze of sleep would ruin anything you did from that point on! It's better to do no work, I always say, than bad work.

The second trick nobles have to know is to rise early as well. You've already slept and now it's a new day! Nothing can stop you from working or playing!

The third trick is a little family secret of mine. Every morning, have a little glass of Greef, but then – this is the secret – mix a small dash of Moonsugar in with the beverage. That kicks you out of your morning grog and everything seems fresh and new!

The fourth is a weekly bath. This may seem excessive, but in reality, people are much kinder to nobles who have bathed recently. Deals are much easier to make and ladies never say no to a man without dirt on his back.

The fifth trick is to buy low and sell high. While this is truly common sense, in practice it is more difficult to accomplish. All merchants have the same idea, but what you must do is push, push, push! Why should they take your money when you can just persuade them to give theirs to you? Don't be ashamed to use your status to get a good deal, for that's why you earned it in the first place.

Trick number six is to greet people in higher positions than you with an exuberant "Good day!". It's always wise to have friends in high places, and with their help, you may one day achieve a higher position than them!

The seventh trick is expensive, but extremely useful and invaluable. You should go to your local Guild of Mage's and have them brew you a potion that makes it easier to influence others with your natural charm. There are many social and professional situations where you can tip the balance of the conversation your way by quaffing a potion before entering it. (Telvanni Bug Musk works as well, though sometimes may be more expensive than the potion.)

The eighth is simply a shallow way of increasing status; keep at least 100 gold in a pouch with you at all times and walk so it jingles. An unpleasant Nord once tried to ask me a question, but I jingled my gold at him and he shied away. It can work for you, too!

Trick number nine is to put a bit of marshmarrow oil in your hair to smooth it. Many a lass and nobleman have been awed by this prime little feat when I performed it, and it most likely will work for you as well. For who wants their hair strewn haphazardly around their head?

The tenth and final trick is to learn the secret of winking. This trick is the most important because it endears all the recipients of the wink to you immediately. The cause of this is unknown, but believe me, it works!

Hopefully, these ten tricks for nobles will work as well for you as they have for me. Good day, and a very good bye