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Lore:The Feast of Saint Coellicia IV

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The Feast of Saint Coellicia IV
by Arfons Jellicandante, Expert on Nibenese Cuisine
A descriptive list of the fifth and sixth courses served during an infamous feast


Author's Note: The fifth course, which features game and poultry, was given the broad interpretation of "beasts of the air." Of note is Leyawiin's proximity to Black Marsh, where this can include a variety of non-avian creatures.

CLIFFSTRIDER MEMBRANE, stewed in strips. This dish is adjacent to stew, but I've been told by Dark Elves that to call it such is an insult. This dish, enjoyed in the province of Morrowind, was most likely served by Brazollus as a tacit apology to one of his ministers, Arnus Demnevanni. The emperor was actively bedding Minister Demnevanni's wife at the time.

SKEWERED BATS, with yogurt and pistachios. Again, Brazollus takes common fare and, through use of excellent ingredients and skillful preparation, creates a dish fit for an Imperial banquet. Bats were a frequently encountered creature of Blackwood's marshes and, for many local fisherfolk, they represented an abundant source of meat when fishing was poor. Netted bats were skewered and roasted whole while being basted in a yogurt sauce and topped with chopped nuts. So popular was this dish that it led to the complete collapse of the Niben's bat population.

REMAN'S POTTAGE, finished with brandy. This dish is made largely in jest. Though pottage is common fare, as were the skewered bats preceding this, Emperor Brazollus offers anything but common food. Rather than legumes or pulses simmered in broth, Brazollus serves a pottage made from the eyes of ducks—the same ducks whose tongues he served at the meal's start. It is said that Emperor Brazollus refused to let any guests know the pottage's ingredients until all had finished their serving.

STUFFED SWAN, garnish unknown. This dish remains one of the most well-known of those served, often called "Brazollus' Farcical Farce." We know it was intended to be a swan stuffed with a variety of fillings, though it was said that the swans were stuffed so tightly that, when set upon the table, they exploded. Satins and damasques became sodden with grease and gravy, to the chagrin of all at the table.

JELLIED BEAKS and other aspics served with a cream-anise sauce. The final dish of beaks that had been softened using Wood Elf brining techniques was almost certainly a feast for the eyes. Sadly, accounts of this course are sparse, given the gloom that had descended over the room from the exploding swans served immediately prior.

* * *

Author's note: As with most feasts, the meat course is thought to be where the central thesis of the chef and host are laid bare for the assembled diners. What Emperor Brazollus may have attempted to instill with this course is unknown, only perhaps that he sought to drown Saint Coellicia's martyrdom with decadence.

ROASTED CAMEL, with lamb, chickens, eggs, and nuts. Brazollus doubtless meant for this farce to be the most talked about dish of the night, though we know that his stuffed swan is the dish most often remembered. Still, the camel stuffed with lamb, the lamb stuffed with chickens, the chickens stuffed with eggs, and the eggs coated in nuts was a sight to behold—particularly since his chefs managed to bisect the entire creature tableside. The aroma of cinnamon was said to linger for weeks.

DORMICE on a bed of ferns. A customary show of decadence, Brazollus was said to have employed every urchin in Leyawiin for several weeks while amassing enough dormice to feed his guests. He fattened them on a diet of goose fat to the point that, when eaten, even the bones of these creatures dissolved on the tongue.

BLACK COCKEREL served in a tortoise shell. The black cockerel breed of White Rose is known for its toxic flesh, which is stained black by its diet of poisonous beetles. Brazollus adopts another innovation of the Argonians for this dish, which is to have the common painted tortoise eat the cockerel's flesh, as the tortoise can negate the poison. It is then a simple matter of killing the tortoise before it fully digests its meal, roasting the creature, and serving it to guests. Though the meat of the tortoise is uninspired, the savory and decadent black cockerel flesh in its gut is a prize for the senses.

SENCHE HEART FILLETS with sugar cane. The dish was a provocative choice as many guests found the symbolic act of eating a senche's heart to be problematic. However, those that did choose to sup of the organ were amazed at how tender the normally tough muscles of the heart had been rendered.

MARROW AND TENDONS with brown sauce. This dish was invented by Alberet Sauvin, the chef of Brazollus' predecessor, and remained a favorite of the Imperial court. It fused the culinary traditions of Imperial cuisine with Akaviri influence, particularly in the seasoning and preparation of the tendons, which were dipped in ox bones as implements for scooping marrow.