All proceedings shall be strictly on the record, unless said proceedings are ordered stricken from the record.
The Guilty shall address this court with all due respect, or receive condign punishment as appropriate from Magistrate Bogtro.
The Guilty shall be entitled to counsel in the form of scamps duly outfitted in periwigs. However, scamps, due to their inveterate vulgarity, are forbidden to speak in the Court of Contempt.
The Guilty are invited to express their indignation at these proceedings at length and in the most heated terms, for the entertainment of the Judge and Magistrate.
The reputation for the fairness of the Court of Contempt is proven by its one-hundred-percent conviction rate of the Guilty.
Take them away!